There was one book of the Bible I clung to in a special way in the season following our two miscarriages: James. It was in that season I began to learn that prayer is much more than uttered words; rather, it’s the groans of a heart longing to be aligned with the presence and purposes of God.

In the aftermath, the book of James was like balm to my sore heart. Sometimes it hurt to read, but I knew God’s comfort and prodding of growth came from instructions just like the ones we’re about to read.

Let’s remember where this book begins. It was written to the early church with instruction and encouragement, specifically as they faced suffering and trials for the sake of Christ. Do these words ring a bell? “Consider it pure joy, my brothers, when you face trials of various kinds. For the testing of your faith produces perseverance” (James 1:2).

This is the context into which we’ll read James 4:2-10. Pay special attention to how we should pray in the midst of life’s adversities.

You do not have, because you do not ask. ³ You ask and do not receive, because you ask wrongly, to spend it on your passions. ⁴ You adulterous people! Do you not know that friendship with the world is enmity with God? Therefore whoever wishes to be a friend of the world makes himself an enemy of God. ⁵ Or do you suppose it is to no purpose that the Scripture says, “He yearns jealously over the spirit that he has made to dwell in us”? ⁶ But he gives more grace. Therefore it says, “God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.” ⁷ Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. ⁸ Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded. ⁹ Be wretched and mourn and weep. Let your laughter be turned to mourning and your joy to gloom. ¹⁰ Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will exalt you.

I don’t know about you, but the first time I read this passage, it didn’t seem encouraging to me. In fact, it seems harsh. Why would James write with such poignancy to a people enduring chaos and hardship as they followed Christ? One guess I have is because he wanted them to understand the seriousness and importance of getting this “right” in the Christian life. As I’ve been studying this, I see four strategies we can draw for persevering in prayer.

1. Recognize who it is you’re praying to

You may have heard it said, “Your view of God determines everything about you.” I’ll take it one step further to say, “Your view of God determines everything about you and your prayer life.”

What is your view of God? Do you see Him as Creator? Do you believe He’s the Sustainer, the Redeemer, your Friend? Is He the Almighty to you? Is He your Provider and Savior? Do you know that He’s jealous for you?

Before you ever utter a word of prayer, do you pause to remember who it is you’re praying to? Many times when I pray, I purposefully set the requests aside and just say things I know to be true of God and His character back to Him to reframe my mind before continuing.

Even this short James passage references powerful dimensions of God’s character: His jealousy and His grace. Let’s read verses 5 and 6 again: “Or do you suppose it is to no purpose that the Scripture says, “He yearns jealously over the spirit that he has made to dwell in us”? ⁶ But he gives more grace. Therefore it says, “God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.”

Have you thought about this when you pray? That God is jealous for your time and attention and affection and is simultaneously the Author of your redemption? Wow, that will change how you pray, won’t it?

I see a major problem in my own heart and in the global church that we pray to accomplish a certain means or outcome. Even worse, we pray to accomplish glory for ourselves and we don’t even realize that we do.

A.W. Tozer reminds us in Going Higher with God in Prayer: “Our prayers should be for the glory of God and not to glorify ourselves. This is often a difficult discipline for us today. We try to exalt ourselves thinking that we are making God look good. But the hardest discipline I have in my prayer life is to push myself aside and focus on that which glorifies God.”

Thanksgiving can play a role in this. If our mind is set on gratitude, it will revolutionize our perspective on life and on God.

Challenge questions: When was the last time you caught yourself day-dreaming about God’s goodness and glory? Is your desire truly for his “kingdom to come” on this earth? Do we pray just as much for God to get the glory? Or do we want a direct role/credit in it unfolding? (Tozer)

If we are not okay with God getting the glory from a means other than ourselves, then we are not genuinely seeking God’s glory.

Let’s get practical: Practice writing a prayer without using the words I/me/my.

Plan one time of personal worship this week. Go into a closet, turn on a song about God’s glory and pray solely words of praise and gratitude for who God is. Let me even tell you something I do. When I pray and worship, sometimes I just picture God’s throne in heaven with all believers worshipping Him and remind myself that I get to be a part of that for eternity—where it’s all about His glory. It’s wonderful to get a glimpse of that this side of heaven.

2. Get your heart right

As we’ve prayed in awareness of God’s majesty and glory, one other crucial element of prayer is getting our heart right before God.

The book Disciplines of a Godly Woman puts it this way: “Prayer is bending our will to God’s will, which is what submitting our lives is all about.”

What role does repentance play in your daily life? It is crucial to a healthy relationship with the Lord.

Confession is a crucial part of prayer, not that we have to do it to maintain our salvation, but rather as a reminder of our own weakness and unworthiness in the presence of a Holy God whom we serve.

Let’s look at verses 7-10 again: “Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. ⁸ Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded. ⁹ Be wretched and mourn and weep. Let your laughter be turned to mourning and your joy to gloom. ¹⁰ Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will exalt you.”

This gives us a picture of what prayer can facilitate: nearness to God. But it necessitates that we humble ourselves before Him and see an accurate view of our own wretchedness.

Think about this with me: our internal/private spiritual life isn’t seen or known by anyone but ourselves. Yet it drives everything about us and how we respond to life and circumstances. Even when we can “fake it,” God still knows our motives. Prayer won’t matter an ounce if our heart isn’t right as we’re doing it.

Challenge questions: When was the last time I repented of sin? Do I truly desire to draw near to God even if it means letting go of my comfort sins?

Let’s get practical: I heard this recently from author Abbey Wedgeworth: Hone in on moments before transition (going to church, going to the store/post office, meeting friends, etc.). Pause and ask yourself (and your kids if they’re with you—great discipleship tool) what are we here for? What temptations might I face while I’m here? How can I glorify God here? Pray through those discoveries.

Spend a portion of your prayer time each day examining your heart, motives, shortcomings, etc. Maybe even keep a list of things God is convicting you about and how you feel He’s wanting you to grow.

What’s that thing that needs to “give.” Take one small step towards that happening.

3. Start asking

One beauty of God is that He tells us to bring our requests to Him. We might think, “oh, I got this part down. I’m constantly going over a prayer list, asking God for things, etc.” But studying this portion challenged me. I think all of us go about our days with deep longings on our heart that we never voice to God in prayer. Let me test this. Think about everything you prayed about yesterday—or even the last week. Take a moment to recall. What if God decided to answer each of those requests with a “yes,” how different would your life look? That isn’t to say we should promote legalism or perfect recitation, it’s just telling of how much we rely on and trust God to move in these significant areas of our lives.

“You ask and do not receive, because you ask wrongly, to spend it on your passions.” (v.3) What passions are you spending your prayers on?

In Disciplines of a Godly Woman, Barbara Hughes recalls a story one of their church member’s shared about the importance of asking:

“I remember a night when I was asked to help get dinner on the table. Dad was out of town, and Mom, seven months pregnant and caring for five children ages two to nine, was serving my most-hated meal—black-eyed peas and Spam…I complained loudly about the dinner, and soon Mom disappeared from the kitchen. I called to find her and got no answer…Something drew me to the basement and I found her at last in the furnace room. It was completely dark and she was crying. Seeing her seven-year-old standing there in fear, she wiped her eyes and told me she needed to come pray for more strength. That early image of Mom as intercessor and supplicant fills my mind and memory now with its poignancy and truth. Instead of shouting in anger at my childish insensitivity, she withdrew to call on more reserves from her heavenly Father, abundantly available to her for the asking (2 Corinthians 9:8).”

We will all face moments like this one—probably even this week! We have a choice: to let the moment overtake us, or to bring it to the Lord in desperate request.

But what about those moments we don’t know how to pray because there are so many desires warring within us? The answer is in Romans 8:26-27:

“In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans. ²⁷ And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for God’s people in accordance with the will of God.”

The answer to our prayers won’t always be “yes,” and that’s a good thing. God sees the grand picture of our lives and  is allowing certain outcomes and trials to sanctify and prepare us. We can trust Him with the outcome and also know He’s with us all along the way.

Challenge questions: List your current struggles, church challenges, family tensions, friendship woes, things creating stress and setback. Have you actually prayed about these things? If every one of the prayers I prayed last week were answered with “yes,” how would my life and the world change?

Let’s get practical: If you don’t know where to start with pleading on behalf of others and yourself, use Scripture as a guide. I learned how to pray Scripture a few years ago and it has given me an incredible tool for those times I simply don’t know what to pray.

Use a prayer journal or a prayer list. I use both and they are helpful tools for recording, reminding myself of answered prayers and keeping track of requests I want to pray over diligently.

4. Be persistent

Persistence has never been something I struggled with. In fact, I’d drive my mom crazy asking her to do things over and over until I got my way. And then I married a man who is just as persistent as I am. You can only imagine the strong will our oldest child has, especially when begging for “one more cookie.”

But this persistence is a whole different ball game when it comes to prayer.

Let’s go back to verses 7 and 8 of our passage.

“Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. ⁸ Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you.”

We see so many examples in Scripture of God commending persistence in prayer. I think these are purposeful, because we all tend towards complacency. We will come to an event like this, get some new ideas, go home invigorated, and find ourselves in the same place about 3 weeks later. So what’s the secret to a persistent prayer life? The answer isn’t a special tool or book. It’s finding joy and communion with the Spirit of God. When we walk closely with God’s Spirit, always listening and asking and learning about His character, it will be our deepest desire to continue conversing with Almighty God.

You want to know the biggest deterrent to a healthy prayer life? Self-sufficiency. It will kill your desire to come to God time and time again. And there is beauty in praying long-term prayers because it communicates long-term dependence on God.

One deterrent you might also think of is busyness. But let’s investigate this. Was Jesus a busy person? But did he still have a deep prayer life?

It’s significant that Jesus was busy and could still intentionally find time to commune with God. But it’s going to mean saying no to some things. It’s also going to mean rearranging some priorities.

In Matthew 14, we see Jesus retreating to the mountainside to pray. His cousin had just been beheaded, his ministry was ramping up. He was likely tired and emotional. Yet as he’s retreating, he’s met by a huge crowd that ends up in the feeding of the 5,000.

I want you to see this: Jesus gets interrupted! How many of us deal with an interrupted time of prayer every week? But does he resent this? Does he complain the whole time he’s feeding the 5,000? No, he continues in the assignment the Lord has given him even when it interferes with his set aside time with His Father. And then he finds time after to do it. BUT it also means he had to miss a boat ride with the disciples debriefing this major miracle he just did. I would have had major FOMO! We will all have to be persistent, reorder priorities and get creative to meet with the Lord depending on our season and assignment.

Challenge questions: What request have I forgotten to keep praying about? If my deep prayer time gets interrupted, how do I respond? How can I find another time or way to connect with God?

Let’s get practical: Place prayer reminders around your house, set reminders on your phone, do Scripture memory, have a prayer partner (this has been HUGE for me!), pray before and after Scripture reading.